After 14 years of marriage I find myself looking back at those fourteen years and asking myself what of it should be changed, how...and exactly in what time period.
At the forefront is the biggest regret of not fulfilling the dreams [I believe] God planted in me long before I made the decision to utter those words of "I do". Grant it, not all participating ingredients necessary for that to happen were in the pot for 13 years. However, that doesn't remove the regret. Now that all participating ingredients are in the mix, there are 13 years of built up obstacles. The idea of "starting fresh" seems unrealistic.
What was not anticipated was the surfacing of significant issues that footsy-toed with avoidance for far too long. No human being is devoid of issues. However, all have the choice to make the wrong and/or right decisions/moves in dealing with them...depending on the issue[s].
Unfortunately, the happy ending will take a significant time coming. There's much human trash and garbage to dig, shuffle through and get the friggin' heck rid of. Slightly akin to what Adam and Eve must've psychologically and emotionally had to work through after being thrown out of the Garden. I wasn't there, but still humanly judging...close.
On the forgiving upside, I have a man that's unbelievably passionate about us and our future. Should I be asking for more? I'd rather not take that risk. Even better I have a relationship with the God much bigger than any human inflicted issues and/or obstacles.....or sin.
May the God of mercy, grace and compassion be seen in me.........
At the forefront is the biggest regret of not fulfilling the dreams [I believe] God planted in me long before I made the decision to utter those words of "I do". Grant it, not all participating ingredients necessary for that to happen were in the pot for 13 years. However, that doesn't remove the regret. Now that all participating ingredients are in the mix, there are 13 years of built up obstacles. The idea of "starting fresh" seems unrealistic.
What was not anticipated was the surfacing of significant issues that footsy-toed with avoidance for far too long. No human being is devoid of issues. However, all have the choice to make the wrong and/or right decisions/moves in dealing with them...depending on the issue[s].
Unfortunately, the happy ending will take a significant time coming. There's much human trash and garbage to dig, shuffle through and get the friggin' heck rid of. Slightly akin to what Adam and Eve must've psychologically and emotionally had to work through after being thrown out of the Garden. I wasn't there, but still humanly judging...close.
On the forgiving upside, I have a man that's unbelievably passionate about us and our future. Should I be asking for more? I'd rather not take that risk. Even better I have a relationship with the God much bigger than any human inflicted issues and/or obstacles.....or sin.
May the God of mercy, grace and compassion be seen in me.........
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