if you only knew the millions of things I want to say....but don't

Wednesday

baffling Russian roulette

For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and 
wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, 
when I was woven together..... Psalm 139


She hunched over positioning her prying ears as close to the OB door as possible to hear her friend's tale of how she lost her baby.  The mom had gone to the village ilo ilo (akin to midwife).  There are good ilo ilo's and there are many more who really don't know what they're doing.  A mom had gone to her in labor but the ilo ilo couldn't get the baby's shoulders out.  In desperation they went to two hospitals.  But really, after seven minutes of the baby's head hanging out waiting for the rest of him to be birthed his body just couldn't survive the ordeal.  As Anne secretly listened in horror to the details the missionary continued to try and comfort the deeply mourning mother who would have to live with the horrific memory the rest of her life.  Only God would be able to heal her.... but only if she allows him.

Anne was still paralyzed in horror when the door was finally opened.  Now cradling fear for her own unborn child of less than 30 weeks gestation, she let the mom leave before asking the missionary more questions and making statements like, "then I won't eat anymore.  If I eat my baby will be too big at birth and die just like her baby."

"No." the missionary assured her.  Had the mom let the missionary birth her baby, there is a better chance the baby would have been birthed safely.  But, the ilo ilo, who charged over $130 for her uneducated and ill equipped skills had no business birthing the baby.

But Anne couldn't let the fear subside.  The more she pondered the more she feared.  The more she feared the less she was willing to trust God and the missionary midwife's words and assurances that were well backed with experience.

So,  at 31 weeks gestation, Anne (with her lack of knowledge and trust) decided to go straight to the ilo ilo two days after her free monthly check up with the missionary midwife.  The ilo ilo then proceeded to take Anne to hospital after hospital because she found herself in a predicament with no understanding of how to finish what she had agreed to  help jump start.  Because Anne had never been to a hospital for any check up, none of the four hospitals would admit her.  Hospitals don't like taking mothers in labor without having some kind of record on the mom or unborn baby's condition.

Finally, the FIFTH hospital admitted her, gave her the blanket diagnosis that she was full term already and somehow little Mark survived his 31 wk highly risky induced birth. Mind you, this hospital is probably one of the many dirt-laced walls and floors with crudely rudimentary practices that serves impoverished communities.  So much so they didn't instruct Ann in how to teach him to latch.  She came with her breasts painfully engorged.  Sweet Mark has been deprived of the God designed nutrients and given formula. Nutrients he is in most need of in his premature state.

The landlord of our facilities came over yesterday to tell us what had happened. She was irate that Anne's mother was unwilling to accompany her because of pure laziness.  Nothing she said would convince the new Lola that her daughter needed her.

While we Americans, in our humanness, would like to lambaste Anne for risking her son's life the Lord reminds us of his infinite sovereignty which has strengthened Mark's lungs and sustained his fragile premature life.... and made him into a fighter as he cries for sustenance from his mama.  So, we refrained and coached her on how to train her new treasure to learn how to latch and eat.

He uses us, in seemingly bizarre circumstances, to take that which we lack as humans in a sinful fallen world, to prove His infinite sovereignty....  for HIS GLORY.  It can seem strange at times when we find ourselves crying out to God, in the oddest places, crying out to Him for his infinitely praiseworthy acts, our needs and the multitudes of others'.  So, in Jollibee I sat this morning with a cup of ice coffee and a cup of water doing just that.... while waiting for a few stores to open up so some errands could be checked off.

It's been hard to stop praying for Anne and this new sweet baby boy, Mark.  It's hard to stop praising Him for getting Mark through what could have been a story of devastation.




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