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| the PAC and BRIDGE parent committee invited Brad Huddleston to speak at Faith Academy. He did a student session and then a separate parent session in the afternoon. We enjoyed a lunch with him where we asked him so many questions and got to know his heart even more for families struggling in today's age of technology. |
Most disturbing observation: parents not knowing their kids by the time they leave home. Now that I have two out of seven kids gone and in college I have found this to have been an alarming consistency. Alarming in that, even I could have known them much better than I did by the time they moved out.
There are two major contributing [and very avoidable] factors. A dying thyroid (it sure felt that way) and digital addiction. Now that the long term consequences have been lived through and there's enough knowledge needed to do something about it changes have definitely been started. It is often repeated in different areas of life that had what I know now been available information in my early 20's life would be drastically different ...and the consequences would be basically nill. Long term effects of anything are never able to be known until the "long term" has been carried out for however many years necessary. I have been forced to learn at the same pace as the rest of society.
My thyroid issues started in the mid 80's. This was around the time that hair perms were the thing. the latest salon craze to make your straight hair permanently curly. Hence the name "perm." However, cosmetology and scientists have yet to come up with the least toxic solution to make that possible. After several weeks the curl is frizzled down to waves and then eventually straightens back out again. So, it would have to be reapplied and another 30-60 minutes of painful toxic chemical torture in that salon chair would be endured. I had my first two chemical burning experiences in fifth grade. Not intending to belittle mom's role as mom the truth remains that no one in their right mind should just allow any kind of toxic exposure no matter how enticing the marketing. Everything should be put to scrutiny.
Somewhere in the following year mom sent me with cash and to the salon to have my 3rd application. It was then that the sunlight from the window was coming through my wet newly curled thinned hair strands. And for the first time it was remarkably noticeable that I had less hair. But there was still enough hair for me to not think anything of it.
Two years later we had moved to Quito, Ecuador. It was then that I started to develop heart palpitations. Never said a word to my mother because they just didn't seem alarming. I had struggled through many bouts of post vaccination adverse reactions and sickness since she had adopted me at 6 1/2 years old. This seemed pretty minor by comparison. But it wasn't until my late 30's that I learn heart palpitations are a symptom of a compromised thyroid. My hair was even more visibly thinner also by then. There was no doubt my crowning glory was no longer vibrantly the same as it was in earlier years of childhood.
It was after the birth of my 4th child that not only was my hair now thinning at a faster rate but the heart palpitations were now averaging six to ten times a day. Depended on the day. But having heard about the more severe symptoms of heart attacks and congestive heart failure I still did not find it alarming. Then when my 5th child turned one month I was introduced to a super green food powder. Much to my surprise the hair fall out slowed back down drastically and the heart palpitations were next to gone. Once every three days they reminded me that they hadn't completely gone away.
A compromised thyroid means a compromise of many things including energy and metabolism. Weight gain started at 19 and loss of energy started after the birth of my first child. Soon after the 5th child I was spending more time in bed and finding less and less energy. The struggle was becoming very real.
For years I have been desperately looking for natural and economical remedies to help curb the effects of a compromised thyroid. As of late, double daily doses of SPIRULINA and Dr. Bush's RESTORE have proven to be the perfect blend to help more than anything else I have tried in the last decade. The hair has literally stopped falling out and the energy factor is not what it used to be. And yes.... I definitely believe that the toxic chemical soup applied to my hair back in the 80's was a major contributing factor... if not entirely.
Now looking back, so much time with my kids was lost because of the struggle with energy. Also, for at least a decade, there is no doubt my kids experienced a level of loneliness while I struggled to come out of my bedroom. There is a pain that comes with knowing I can never get those years back with them.
Now looking back, so much time with my kids was lost because of the struggle with energy. Also, for at least a decade, there is no doubt my kids experienced a level of loneliness while I struggled to come out of my bedroom. There is a pain that comes with knowing I can never get those years back with them.
Digital addiction is not something I want to cover as thoroughly. However, I can definitely say the day I signed up for a Facebook account in 2008 the downhill spiral began. I became addicted to social media. Scrolling through Facebook and scouring through the latest posts from my growing list of contacts (which comprised of people I ever knew or came across through all chapters of life from America, to Asia and South America). I ralphed out more thoughts, opinions, family updates and photos than ever necessary. Digital addiction is real and has the same effects on the brain as heroine and drugs. The science is irrefutable. Fortunately, unlike cocaine and other drugs going cold turkey isn't as hard. I am shocked that there are thousands of studies to the negative affects of addiction to electronic stimulation to the brain when consumed the way it is today.
I have taken measures to cut the family's screen time drastically. No WiFi devices in bedrooms. Not even computers. Bedrooms are strictly for sleeping and reading. So screen time is mainly homework related and is closely monitored. Currently, my high school girls do not have smart phones. They use mine when they want to chat with friends and update their instagram accounts. That is also limited drastically. My seventh grader has been asking for a smart phone. We told him that if we buy him a phone it will be a flip phone so he can stay in contact with us while at school. But that's only IF we decide to make that investment. If something happens while he's at school, the school knows how to get a hold of me. He doesn't need to be addicted to texting, social media or even pornography.
I'm learning more and more how rampant pornography is now that there's the societal expectation that family members have their own smart phones and/or other devices. This makes the access to porn disturbingly easier than it ever was in the 80's and 90's. This has been followed by an alarmingly increasing rate of porn indulgence. The church struggles just as much as the rest of society, as a result. Pastors, worship leaders, youth group leaders, missionaries....and the number of kids is shocking. Such a travesty. Even more tragic is how this is playing out and manifesting in society. Let's not be complacent. If your kids have devices in their bedrooms there's a guarantee they're not getting enough sleep because they're on that thing while you think they're sleeping. Also factual is they have uninhibited access to internet porn. Far too many parents who's kids have devices are quick to deny their kids could be prey and say, "not my kid." Take vigilant care and make sure it's not your kid. Until we are honest with ourselves as adults and parents there will be even more Harvey Weinsteins and the #metoo movement will be a complete and utter failure.
I have taken measures to cut the family's screen time drastically. No WiFi devices in bedrooms. Not even computers. Bedrooms are strictly for sleeping and reading. So screen time is mainly homework related and is closely monitored. Currently, my high school girls do not have smart phones. They use mine when they want to chat with friends and update their instagram accounts. That is also limited drastically. My seventh grader has been asking for a smart phone. We told him that if we buy him a phone it will be a flip phone so he can stay in contact with us while at school. But that's only IF we decide to make that investment. If something happens while he's at school, the school knows how to get a hold of me. He doesn't need to be addicted to texting, social media or even pornography.
I'm learning more and more how rampant pornography is now that there's the societal expectation that family members have their own smart phones and/or other devices. This makes the access to porn disturbingly easier than it ever was in the 80's and 90's. This has been followed by an alarmingly increasing rate of porn indulgence. The church struggles just as much as the rest of society, as a result. Pastors, worship leaders, youth group leaders, missionaries....and the number of kids is shocking. Such a travesty. Even more tragic is how this is playing out and manifesting in society. Let's not be complacent. If your kids have devices in their bedrooms there's a guarantee they're not getting enough sleep because they're on that thing while you think they're sleeping. Also factual is they have uninhibited access to internet porn. Far too many parents who's kids have devices are quick to deny their kids could be prey and say, "not my kid." Take vigilant care and make sure it's not your kid. Until we are honest with ourselves as adults and parents there will be even more Harvey Weinsteins and the #metoo movement will be a complete and utter failure.
If you're addicted to technology then the door is wide open for your kids to be also. But even more important, they are lonelier than you might be willing to admit. Brad Huddleston has witnessed throughout America and around the world how parents are the most stubborn and most unwilling to help their children fix their digital addiction. In most cases it's because the parents are addicted and they are the ones who made it possible for their kids to become addicted to gaming and social media. A hard and brutal truth to swallow. We don't do it intentionally. Nonetheless, it's happening. It may be the easiest babysitter for the toddler, elementary kid and older. But it's the worst babysitter.
We, as parents, have decided it's high time to be more intentional about interacting with our kids so we get back to family bonding the way God intended it to be. Kids need to be raised in the real world with parents also living in the real world and not through social media, television or video gaming. They should be raised to become responsible adults.
Biggest shocker for me this month: the average age of people addicted to playing video games in America: 35. Make a trip to your local gaming store and count how many grown men are in there. Make several trips to do just that so you get a better idea. Then go to internet cafes and see how many are in there gaming. When this came out in the parent session, a parent behind me said, "gross" under her nose. If you're a parent and you're video gaming I highly recommend that you re-evaluate that habit over and over until you've finally come to the conclusion you don't want to be doing it at all. Your spouse needs you. Your kids need you. Dare to be honest with yourself, your spouse and with your kids. Get rid of it and dare to live in reality. Dare to be an intentional parent that knows there kids, always knows what their kids are doing and who they're doing it with. Dare to disciple your kids. Dare to be the daily example of what loving God looks like. Love God and seek his face every moment of everyday. Not your phone or any other device. Be intimate with him, not your device, gaming or social media. Dare to get to know your kids as much as possible everyday before they graduate and leave home. Screen time is not bonding time. Not movies or television shows. Not gaming or youtube. I purchased game boards the last time I was in America and brought them back to the Philippines. The lesson learned is that I shouldn't invest in cheap breakable ones because the 2 year old found them and destroyed them when I wasn't looking. Oops. If you have game boards that are sitting around because your kids are all grown up and gone, pass them on to me. 😄
Every second is another opportunity for change and second chances. China has over 400 digital addiction recovery program centers and I think South Korea has over 200. There are more popping up around the world as the awareness continues to spread. Brad thinks that if more schools went back to analog teaching and text books they could start a competitive market for education. I would go further and suggest smart phones be banned on campus as well. Schools know how to get a hold of parents if something happens. Your kids won't die without it. Interact with the school the old fashioned way. Communicate with other parents to make arrangements for your kids for events and what not.
Making these changes will not only help our family but will save our family from being part of the statistic. I look forward to our family being a lot closer than ever before. Now when my other kids leave I hope they leave with far better social skills, better problem solving skills, better confrontation skills, and better leadership skills. May they also have a closer walk with God than ever before.
We, as parents, have decided it's high time to be more intentional about interacting with our kids so we get back to family bonding the way God intended it to be. Kids need to be raised in the real world with parents also living in the real world and not through social media, television or video gaming. They should be raised to become responsible adults.
Biggest shocker for me this month: the average age of people addicted to playing video games in America: 35. Make a trip to your local gaming store and count how many grown men are in there. Make several trips to do just that so you get a better idea. Then go to internet cafes and see how many are in there gaming. When this came out in the parent session, a parent behind me said, "gross" under her nose. If you're a parent and you're video gaming I highly recommend that you re-evaluate that habit over and over until you've finally come to the conclusion you don't want to be doing it at all. Your spouse needs you. Your kids need you. Dare to be honest with yourself, your spouse and with your kids. Get rid of it and dare to live in reality. Dare to be an intentional parent that knows there kids, always knows what their kids are doing and who they're doing it with. Dare to disciple your kids. Dare to be the daily example of what loving God looks like. Love God and seek his face every moment of everyday. Not your phone or any other device. Be intimate with him, not your device, gaming or social media. Dare to get to know your kids as much as possible everyday before they graduate and leave home. Screen time is not bonding time. Not movies or television shows. Not gaming or youtube. I purchased game boards the last time I was in America and brought them back to the Philippines. The lesson learned is that I shouldn't invest in cheap breakable ones because the 2 year old found them and destroyed them when I wasn't looking. Oops. If you have game boards that are sitting around because your kids are all grown up and gone, pass them on to me. 😄
Every second is another opportunity for change and second chances. China has over 400 digital addiction recovery program centers and I think South Korea has over 200. There are more popping up around the world as the awareness continues to spread. Brad thinks that if more schools went back to analog teaching and text books they could start a competitive market for education. I would go further and suggest smart phones be banned on campus as well. Schools know how to get a hold of parents if something happens. Your kids won't die without it. Interact with the school the old fashioned way. Communicate with other parents to make arrangements for your kids for events and what not.
Making these changes will not only help our family but will save our family from being part of the statistic. I look forward to our family being a lot closer than ever before. Now when my other kids leave I hope they leave with far better social skills, better problem solving skills, better confrontation skills, and better leadership skills. May they also have a closer walk with God than ever before.
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