the growing heart of a missionary

Marikina overpass to Santolan MRT station

One of the things that's constantly getting conditioned (and reconditioned) on the mission field is the heart of the missionary. Particularly of those in a country they never called home prior to their first arrival.  Though we are amateurs having celebrated our one year anniversary in the Philippines, so much culture, chastening, challenge and spiritual growth has been the case.  Yet, it seems we haven't really begun.  Not all has been anticipated or even welcomed.  But what does that really matter in the grand scheme of things?

We have been so blessed by God to be in a community of many other missionary families.  Sometimes, it is such a refresher to spend a few moments with fellow westerners over a great meal, coffee or even a table game. There you're engaging in your mutual social culture of communication and understanding on any topic.  However, most missionaries don't move to a foreign country to change another culture but to engage it in order to share the gospel to the spiritually lost.  So, there's a potential danger in sticking to your kind too much to the point of defeating the purpose of the geographical move.

The most challenging and ongoing task of a missionary on the field is trusting the Lord to continue supplying for all practical needs in order to stay on the field.  In large part that involves money.  The other 50% is the prayer partnership from friends, family and churches.  The financial aspect is such a labyrinth of so many lessons within more lessons of what it means to obey (aka TRUSTing the Lord).  Where the heart is in association with finances, affects everything and the relationships with everyone starting with spouse, kids, fellow missionaries...etc.  Everyone.  The devil uses money issues to entrap the most diligent missionaries into judgements that can hinder the calling attitude and action.  But is it really all that complicated?

I was given the opportunity to walk through a squatter community down the street and under Faith Academy.  A missionary, that ministers to the community weekly, wanted to gift the families with a printed family portrait for Christmas.  Jumping at the chance to be amongst the seemingly less fortunate, I hadn't anticipated becoming the blood cocktail for the millions of mosquitoes or working in muggy sweat oozing heat for several hours.

The conditions these families live in are lower than the lowest standards of even the homeless in America.  At least in America the streets are generally more kept with less trash and the unfiltered tap water that can be found any and everywhere is far better for dish washing, clothes washing and bathing.  We walked and up and down makeshift muddy steps, garbage ladened walkways and "yards".  There are over 150 thousand people living in these conditions and Faith Academy is far from selfish in letting these families pump fresh well water at the gate which they use for drinking.  The key words that convinced the families this here camera lady wasn't collecting photos to gossip all over the internet with  were, "remembrance picture."  Some were reluctant while others hugged the camera with their trust and infectious smiles.  

The entire time I couldn't stop thanking the Lord for my family's more sanitary living conditions, all the energy sucking fans in our home and the resilience of these people to live in these conditions, and thinking these families could really use mosquito nets....and all lessons learned for which there are no words.

Satan, as usual, stood up against Israel. He urged David to number Israel so David told Joab to "Go, number Israel from Beersheba even to Dan, and bring me word that I may know their number." -I Chron 21:1-2 David wanted to calculate his strength of his soldiers. Yet, the Lord specifically told him that was a sin because his strength is not based on the number of his troops but on God. 

It amazes me how God Almighty speaks to us. It's impossible....absolutely impossible to read the Bible too many times over. There's always something new to learn that he didn't specifically point out to me the last time I was reading this book because at the time it wouldn't not have applied to my current life lesson. Wasn't there yet. Strong chances are, that's the case for everybody in their own growth in all different areas.

So, in reading that above passage, he specifically pointed out to me (moments ago) the sin in trying to measure our ability to be here, in this inflated economy, the success of the radio ministry that appears to be seriously challenged despite its potentials.....the seemingly limited financial and human resources of it [or the bountiful resources it's also had], it is a sin to measure by all such methods....when instead God is our....well, EVERYTHING. Can't even measure him. Goodness gracious, gracious....gracious!!! GOD GOD....GOD. Yup, now there's a new understanding...a very new understanding.

Stress comes from removing God out of the equation.  There are so many times the devil is constantly trying to convince me that all answered prayers are only a phase, they will die soon, this good luck is only that...etc.  He can shut up.  This heart now knows the difference between his empty trying words and  the true love and care of God Almighty.