I Really Like This Drug!

I'm, apparently, the first client after their lunch break, the office is lit only by the natural sunlight gracefully covering the waiting lounge in the front. A few moments later more staff trickle in and I wonder where the Knight With Shining Extractors is hiding. Dori pulls out her Bible study and Bible. My facebook status is updated to let my friends around the world know I am, once again, occupying the dental chair.

"Come on back Kimberley". Kitty's up in her years. Sweet, gentle....all things that make a good dental assistant. The appropriate pink bib is clasped on and the nitrous helps my muscles surrender to my reclined vulnerable state. Oh, yah... Breath it in. Fall asleep if I like. Do to me whatever I'm paying for. Just don't let me feel any pain whatsoever. Kitty's very good at jibber jabbering. I'm a good listener. Especially when I can't respond. Is this dental bliss? Depends on the outcome of the procedure.

On the ceiling are a list of things that happened in the Bible. What's the second one? I'm not making the connection. Kitty reminds me, "Adam bit the apple". Bells go off. DUH! She tries to take my blood pressure. I've learned that dentists don't like to do invasive procedures if the client has an elevated blood pressure. No one's been completely upfront with me and just told it like it is. However, I'm guessing that it is a potentially fatal risk. Kitty keeps talking....sounds like she just wants me to stay updated on everything she's doing to prep me for my dental knight. She informs me that she's going to try another machine because that one won't take my blood pressure. A first try with the second one is a success. She likes the number. Okay, I'd like to just sleep in oblivion right now. Nice gas. Why do they call it laughing gas? Doesn't make me laugh. Just blissfully sleepy.

A'las, my knight in shining.....blue? Oh, it's that same color clinical professionals wear. I'd rather not relate that to one of my favorite azure colors I love so much. He was pretty smooth with that needle. Like, I didn't even see the thing. Oh, but that horridly familiar pinch. Okay. Doesn't seem so bad this time. None-the-less. I hate it still. The arm rest feels too small for a comfortable clinch. [the other spelling *clench* has a definition that now confirms my win in an argument I just had with Toby back in .....December? Something about AZ Cardinals clenching into the Superbowl. He didn't get it. Though I can't remember his response either. But anyway...."to assure the winning of *scored a touchdown to clinch the game*". Basically, what the Cardinals had done was assure themselves into the playoffs. Toby didn't get the connection. But that's alright. One day I'll be able to bring it up in the middle of NFL bantering and bring him up to speed]. I remember my last dentist. He was injecting my upper gum for a lazer surgery and that pinch was enough to make me want to hammer him. YOUCH. I clinched the arm rest, arched my back and he reminded me to, "Breath, Kimberley. Breath." Did I ever. Heavy.

Carlisi's last injection brought the tears. Thought I was going to hurl. All of a sudden the right side of my tongue was swollen. Started rubbing the uvula. Sticking the tongue out might help. Not really. A few minutes pass by. The left hand goes up. "I'm going to hurl." Kitty lifts up the bib. While my breakfast spews out she grabs the trash can. "I'm so sorry." She's gracious and says not to apologize. Off to the bathroom. Ok. That was just weird. Fortunately, I didn't get much of anything on my shirt. What a hellish way to start my day....oblivion bliss interrupted by ralph. Joy.

My knight walks back in. A little poking and prodding to make sure the numbing is complete. It is. Kitty and Carlisi apparently work very well together. They start talking about Judy. She is his queen of the home. Can't remember the name of his 13 year old. Some mentioning of a condition he has and Carlisi's frustration that after [how many] years doctors still can't tell them what's wrong and keeping his legs stiff and sore. I'd like to say what's wrong. First of all, doctors go through 12 years of pharmaceutical school [that's who write's the textbooks] and more often than not, can't tell you didly, but want to give you more experimental drugs [per instructions of the pharmaceutical industry, trickled down to the CDC and AMA] to see if your pain, discomfort, and wining can be eased. If it can't be eased, add more to the repertoire of experimental drugs and mindless jibber of how "this is what's happening.....yada yada." Basically fancy talk for "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but come back and we'll observe and experiment some more". Second, what I'm hearing basically sounds like polio. Poisoning of the fluid around his spinal cord. [Fibromyalgia brings on the same symptoms]. But he's probably had the vaccine, so "they" don't dare diagnose him with that. "They" don't want to give any reason for point any blame or doubt in the billion dollar industry of failed vaccination science. Crap science.

My head is spinning amidst all the poking, prodding and pulling. The nitrous is doing wonders relaxing my muscles. But my neck is starting to feel a bit tired of the forced positionings. My head's being handled like it's trying to get away from the metal poking and clenching. G - I wonder why. Oh , no. Not the drill! I hate that thing. There's that familiar dreaded smell from high speed friction between teeth and rotating metal. Or is that smoke I'm smelling? Now I've got the perfect visual: Masked dentist with a smoking drill.

What was scheduled to take only an hour and a half...turned into four hours. Five less teeth later, it's back to reality with the anesthetics wearing off making room for pain. Cheeks feel swollen...sure look it too. The gauze is annoying. Back to Dori's house. Help Mav into his seat and race home to my bed. Soothing instrumental satellite music is now in order. Forgot the tylenol. Drat. Mav's all cozy in front of Spongbob and Patrick. Nickelodeon rocks. My mouth is bordering throbbing pain. Can't sleep. Three hours later Dori brings my kids home from school and the forgotten tylenol. Yeah, some relief! In and out of consciousness turns into comfortable sleep for the rest of the night. Mike does wonders bringing home pudding, instant mashed potatoes, a beautiful blue shirt for me, feeds the kids, puts them to bed....etc. I'm well aware of it by morning. Next week the entire process starts all over again. Dread.

I'm hungry for something yummy. Something Asian. But everything on my Asian list of favorites is solid food. Stuff to be avoided for a couple days. Ah, homemade egg drop soup. That I can most definitely do! Some culinary bliss can still be produced and enjoyed. In the pot goes a whole cut up chicken, bay leaves, ginger, garlic, onion, celery.....mmmm......