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| my how the years go by |
There are many things one surrenders when choosing obedience above a more desired lifestyle....a lifestyle that is essentially more me focused, truth be told of what we previously lived. The kind of obedience that takes one far and away from all they've known and surrounded themselves with such well established friendships, family support, annual traditions with our faithful social circles....etc. We had created a comfortable lifestyle where we had been raising our children and then there's that unavoidable quiet voice of God that reverberates through all four chambers of the most sensitive hearts. God can't be silenced. Running away from that familiar voice we've grown to love just leads to days of misery until we decide to stop and listen.
When the first born left for college I had anticipated the [now always] unwelcome of what lonely looks like at significant annual calendar land marks. Not being able to buy him tickets to come home for fall break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break left me feeling slightly helpless. The challenge for mom and dad is to not be so forlorn on holidays and birthdays so as not to take away from the other kids still at home. At one point, he expressed a desire to come home for the summer and asked what he should do, come for part or all of it. My only response was that he had to talk with God first, not me. March came. Not only was husband able to order radio equipment and the tickets to spend some much needed bonding time with first born and then bring back the equipment, but money also came in to cover round trip tickets for Dylan's first summer home. He came home with unrealistic expectations of what it would be like to come back to his favorite school for MK's and the social circle he once had. Most MK's and TSK's do. The girl he loved he couldn't expect to spend time with anymore and the last week of school made Faith Academy seem rather empty with the seniors having finished a week earlier and not required to show up on campus. It was like the solidifying of the separation from a loved childhood in a slightly brutal way. Only a TCK would understand what that's like. All those who love their over seas childhood go through it.
But then #2 joined #1 at the end of the summer. Tye surprised himself by not being able to hold back tears when hugging his sisters and the two littles farewell. He survived his first semester with all A's and first holiday season with friends and extended family. But now his birthday is here and for the first time I'm using social media only to wish him the happiest birthday yet. Fortunately, he has a blossoming personal social life with a petite Texan blond. In the course of finding himself in constant need of us, his parents, he's also learned to turn to God Almighty and be thankful to the Lord for his sovereign faithfulness. It's been beautiful to watch. I find myself looking at pictures of his very early years and wishing I could give him one last BIG birthday squeeze. Being over six feet with the Medlin build, there's plenty of him to squeeze as hard as possible. Tye has made the dean's list which brings mom and dad unspeakable satisfaction.
So, here I sit also wishing that #3 isn't going to be graduating in less than three years. That means another kid we will surrender to the brutal world where she has to learn what it means to no longer piggy back on mom and dad's faith but rather establishing a stronger more independent foundation so that she can continue to be faithful in her walk with Christ when life's storms rage unforgivingly all around her. #4 is right behind her the very next year after. There's nothing like realizing that once the first leaves the emptying of the nest just doesn't stop until the last one's out. We've got at least another seventeen years. Unfortunately, those seventeen years already look like they got put into over drive with Dylan's departure.
Had we stayed in America, this would not have been as difficult. Just a state or two away and holidays/birthdays would not be as painful. But in the end only one thing stays at the very forefront of a missionary's mind....and most definitely mine: "My fervent prayer for all of you is that you continue to seek God, grow in your faith, become his most passionate disciples even if it costs you your earthly life, remain faithful...... etc. because the eternal impact is far more than even the most intellectual human being can put into words." Most of us know the risk of persecution that we take and the TEMPORARY heart ache that comes with obedience. My prayer is that, no matter how many birthdays we miss, all efforts to disciple each one results in radical obedience with eternal rewards. The transpontine of eternity in the new earth and heaven makes all temporary heart aches worth far more than words can say.
Happy last year of your teens, beautiful son. We certainly look forward to an eternity of no more good-byes on the other side.
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