two decades

Leia Alexi, May 1st. 2015

Studly and I made it.  We have made it to 20 years with seven kids later. I still remember the days when, through dreamy eyes, we could hardly stand another day waiting to finally officially be US.  We two with very young mentality and young inexperienced expectations: The dream team that would rise above the world's challenges standing strong against trials and temptations....proving to the world and each other that "it ain't [really] nothing but a thing" because we got it all and then some.  Determined never to fail because failure is only for the weak. But let's be realistic.  We have NOT yet arrived.  

It's no easy road ....but what marriage really ever is? Seriously. It's no fairy tale but it's been one big honeymoon.  A few things have put that honeymoon into a slight pause and constantly evolving perspective.  Some for a day.  Some for a few days.  Some for a few weeks.  Some for a few months.  It depends on the contents of that pause.  Some of those were extremely painful.  It's safe to say that the most trial-some ones come with the most powerful lessons of endurance, faithfulness, honesty, resilience...etc.  Not sure that we've passed them all necessarily.   I don't know....have we passed even one?  If we haven't that's okay.  We have NOT yet arrived.

I think to say that we have learned everything there is to learn in two decades about each other and marriage is a bit presumptuous.  If you fancy the idea, ask me in three more decades.  Better yet ask me when I'm in my last days.  Maybe then I will have completed my thoughts on marriage as it should and shouldn't be.  What is realistic and what is not.  What is beautiful and what is not.  What makes it almost perfect and what does not.  What of it is glamorous and what is not. The more I learn of Stud, the less I clearly know...and visa versa.  Poor guy.   

When Christmas Eve day arrived and Studly and I were shopping for our ingredients for the next day's feast, I was definitely smiling inside.  Though one bird has flown the nest and tears had already rolled over these chubby cheeks there was a slight palpitation and the capillaries were pulsating with eye dancing crazy delight.  This man has met my worst yet face-to-face.  He's taken on the [so far] ugliest layer of me but patiently and persistently dug through to the next layer of what he thinks and believes is beautiful.  All I can say is that age old phrase, "beauty is [only] in the eyes of the beholder."  While there have been a few jewels we weren't meant to enjoy, there are still seven kids that God Almighty has graciously given this dream team stewardship of.  What a blessing and crazy delight that still eight of us, this season, would be together [on this side of the globe] on the day most of the world is indulging in family time, food and gift unveiling.  We weren't going to be showering the kids as we had in years passed.  Another year of keeping it low key.  But being prepared well in advance, they were so good about it.  That also made me smile knowing that it was not a major factor, for them, in measuring the goodness of being alive and together that day.

All together our dream team has currently nine members living and breathing on this earth.  We have all given each other some of the most challenging AND the most beautiful bonding moments. The best part about this growing dream team is that we're not done being us.  We're not done working out the kinks and quirks.  We're not done learning how to be the best we can be for [and to] each other.  We're not done learning how to be the dream team. We have not yet arrived.

The Captain put us all together.  He promised not to jump ship EVER but to take us on into that glorious forever beyond the horizon.   All we have to do is depend on him.  Whatever trials have yet to come he will still be here with us.  Whatever growing pains, bruises, fractures and cuts have yet to come ...thank goodness we know the Healer.  We haven't a clue how much uglier the waves can and will get.  Thank goodness the Captain is steering this ship.  But we will take it all.  More challenges leads to more growth.  More growth leads to more strength. More strength leads to something more powerfully dynamic than one can put into words. Something the devil can't break no matter how viciously he tries.

We will likely stumble over our own missteps a couple times more or maybe even a LOT more.  It depends on our posture and stance with each wave. We have not yet arrived, but that's okay.  We know the Captain.  We trust him to help us stand up again.  Oh, yes indeed.  WATCH THE CAPTAIN. Watch him also graciously pick up our broken pieces and put them back together again ......and again....and again.  Watch him steer us back  towards the finish line and to the end of the race.  (And while I think of it the Captain is always looking for others seeking his perfect wisdom, guidance and merciful faithfulness).

Thanks for being our second in command, Stud.....

We thought we would enjoy a nostalgic night in my favorite childhood place.  There were two sads: 1-the Jeepney room was booked.  2-So close but so far away.  there's no way we would make it back and try again in time before the InterContinental Hotel closes, shuts down and is GONE for good.  Last day of operations for this beautiful place is tomorrow, New Year's Eve day.  #iSoSad !!!!!

I am amazed that twenty years later, with my continually decreasing hair I can still look okay...as long as my position and posture is juuuuust right! que hard laughter.  I wonder what this Starbucks will be looking at across the street when the Hotel is torn down and replaced.....Hopefully a pleasant site.  Not the eye sore that an employee exclaimed to be a transportation hub.  Makati seems too proud of it's well manicured city to think they would actually replace such a beautiful hotel with something potentially ugly by comparison.  I hope that was a lie.