There are two important points to consider when it comes to forgiveness.
First, it’s crucial to forgive even those who seem the most unforgivable due to their countless repeated offenses or even abuse. According to the Bible, forgiving them surrenders any need for revenge to Jesus Christ, allowing Him to take on that burden.
Forgiveness also saves you mental and emotional energy, leaving room for peace of mind. It frees you from excessive anger and eventual bitterness, which only leak poison into your emotional and mental well-being. Forgiveness also keeps your joy intact. It allows you to heal.
Second, forgiveness is not something to which you are entitled. It is not a tool you can use with the expectation of continuing your offense or abuse towards your forgiver. Like an apology, it is not something to be checked off without genuine change or improved behavior. The one who asks for forgiveness is morally obligated to follow through with positive, respectful change and improved behavior. Failing to do so reveals an inability to maintain a healthy, growing relationship.
To be unhealthy is to be toxic, and being toxic makes you unsafe. You are not entitled to demand forgiveness and an ongoing relationship if you are unsafe. If you are unsafe, your forgiver is not obligated to maintain an active relationship with you.
In the case of abuse and/or narcissism, forgiveness doesn't require reconnection or ongoing communication with an unsafe individual. The forgiver isn't wrong for distancing themselves from your unsafe poisonous energy. It's your responsibility to heal, grow, and become a better person. It’s not their responsibility to do that for you.
To your healing…..
